Paigerz4liferz

Dear ,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it last year in your apartment and I saw you insult my best friend. I'm sure you're masochistic enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning your love letters, but I'll keep your suicide note. You should also know that I get sick when I think of our friendship.

Go burn,

----------------------------------------

Duuuude this isn't as funny as I wanted it to be :c,,,,



-> How you do the Letter Meme:

Dear -icon of the person who tagged you-
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12____, -Your name-


1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My pen pal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Over joyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbor Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - F*ck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

[ ] January - I kicked
[x] February - I kissed
[ ] March - I touched
[ ] April - I crushed
[ ] May - I whacked
[ ] June - I stabbed
[ ] July - I attacked
[ ] August - I slapped
[ ] September - I scared
[ ] October - I punctured
[ ] November - I scratched
[ ] December - I hurt

Day of birth:
[ ] 01 - Feliciano Vargas (Italy Veneciano/ N. Italy)
[ ] 02 - Ludwig (Germany)
[ ] 03 - Kiku Honda (Japan)
[ ] 04 - Alfred F. Jones (America)
[ ] 05 - Arthur Kirkland (England)
[ ] 06 - Yao Wang (China)
[ ] 07 - Ivan Braginski (Russia)
[ ] 08 - Francis Bonnefoy (France)
[ ] 09 - Matthew Wiliams (Canada)
[ ] 10 - Toris Laurinaitis (Lithuania)
[ ] 11 - Eduard von Bock (Estonia)
[ ] 12 - Raivis Galante (Latvia)
[ ] 13 - Lovino Vargas (Italy/Romano/S. Italy)
[ ] 14 - Antonio Fernández Carriedo (Spain)
[ ] 15 - Peter Kirkland (Sealand)
[ ] 16 - Feliks ukasiewicz (Poland)
[ ] 17 - Heracles Karpusi (Greece)
[ ] 18 - Sadik Adnan (Turkey)
[ ] 19 - Tino Väinämöinen (Finland)
[ ] 20 - Berwald Oxenstierna (Sweden)
[ ] 21 - Vash Zwingli (Switzerland)
[x] 22 - Gilbert Beilschmidt (Prussia)
[ ] 23 - Im Yong Soo (South Korea)
[ ] 24 - Roderich Edelstein (Austria)
[ ] 25 - Elizabeta Héderváry (Hungary)
[ ] 26 - Natalia Arlovskaya (Belarus)
[ ] 27 - Gupta Muhammad Hassan (Egypt)
[ ] 28 - Holy Roman Empire
[ ] 29 - Denmark
[ ] 30 - Iceland
[ ] 31 - Norway

Favorite Color: (In his/her)
[ ] Red - Eyes
[x] Orange - "Vital Regions"
[ ] Yellow - Head
[ ] Green - Chest
[ ] Blue - Legs
[ ] Turquoise - Knee
[ ] Violet, or Purple - Arms
[ ] Pink - Heart
[ ] Brown - Feet
[ ] Gray - Eyebrows
[ ] Black - Butt
[ ] White - Nose

Zodiacal Sign: (With a)
[ ] Aries - Plush
[ ] Taurus - Spoon
[ ] Geminis - Book
[ ] Cancer - Tortoise
[ ] Leo - Fork
[ ] Virgo - Bucket
[ ] Libra - Shoe
[ ] Scorpio - Pair of scissors
[ ] Sagittarius - Pillow
[ ] Capricorn - Cup
[ ] Aquarius - Fish
[x] Pisces - Knife

Color of the shirt you're wearing: (Because...)
[ ] Red - I'm insane
[ ] Orange - I like squirrels
[ ] Yellow - I wanted to
[x] Green - It was my destiny
[ ] Blue - My mother told me to
[ ] Turquoise - I love pasta!
[ ] Violet, or Purple - I'm bored
[ ] Pink - I'm a princess
[ ] Brown - I love Chocolate
[ ] Gray - I'm very sad
[ ] Black - I'm emo
[ ] White - I liked it
[ ] None/Other - I'm invisible

I kissed Gilbert Beilschmidt in his "Vital Regions" with a knife because it was my destiny  

In 2012 I...
[x] Got a new piercing.
[x] Dyed my hair.
[] Ended a relationship.
[] Started a new relationship.
[x] Been on a long car/bus journey.
[] Passed an exam.
[x] Met someone who's now an important part of my life.
[x] Cried on someone's shoulder.
[x] Had a massive fight with a boy/girl
[x] Received flowers.
[x] Had a Valentine.
[] Written a letter using pen & paper.  
[] Gone to see a therapist
[x] Been prescribed medication by a doctor.
[x] Read a really good book.
[] Went to the zoo.
[x] Spent too much money on unnecessary things.
[] Traveled by train.
[] Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
[x] Spent the day out in the sun getting a tan. (But dang was it hot out! )
[x] Slammed a door out of frustration.  
[] Had an anxiety attack.
[] Babysat for a friend's child.
[x] Had a BBQ
[x] Went to the fair.
[x] Went bowling.
[x] Seen a film at the cinema in 3D.
[x] Went on a date.
[] Been the only sober one on a night out.
[] Helped someone home after they had been drinking.
[x] Stayed up all night.
[x] Talked on the phone for over two hours.
[x] Supported someone who'd received bad news.
[x] Watched some kind of live sporting event.
[x] Read an entire book in one day.
[x] Bought a DVD the day it was released.
[x] Eaten McDonald's more than four times in a single week.
[] Cried as a result of exam stress.
[] Met some incredible new people.
[x] Went to great parties.
[] Fallen backwards off a chair.
[] Broke my glasses.
[] Wore a watch for the first time in years.
[x] Cried over someone in my past.
[x] Spent hours aimlessly browsing the internet.
[] Threw up.
[x] Cried over a film.
[] Gone out of my way to avoid an ex-boy/girlfriend.
[x] Fought with someone in public.
[x] Been in a relationship for a year or longer.
[x] Cried in front of someone I adore.
[x] Lost a/some close friends.